Socially Awkward Vampire: Barbara of the Nosferat

Barbara is the most popular girl in school. She goes to all the dances. She is still going through that awkward stage all vampire teeny boppers go through. She has not mastered transforming and walks the halls with bat wings for arms. All the boys think she's "sooooooo hot". I don't get it.

(This sketch was inspired from the Bugs Bunny cartoon "Transylvania 6-5000" during the magic phrase duel. One of my all-time favorites)

Socially Awkward Vampire: Hank Vigée-Lebrun of The Mountain Ash

Hank can't bite anybody. He loves the game Mass Effect.

Socially Awkward Vampire: Francis Lodemai of The Pouch

Francis loves his fanny pack. It is full of cheese biscuits.

Socially Awkward Vampire: "Ashford The Ashamed of Moldovia"

Ashford walks the halls in school depressed and sad. He hates being good looking. He hates being charming. He hates getting all the boys and sometimes girls. He asks himself constantly "why me?". He hides his fangs in shame. Life is too easy and that really sucks.

Socially Awkward Vampires

Let me be Frank.

(scene missing)

Ok, that was fun.

Now, Let me be clear. I hate vampires. They are the stupidest, lamest, and most entitled creatures of lore. They get all the girls, men, and/or love interests. They are handsome and pretty. They are intelligent and manipulative. They live forever and stay pretty forever. They pick on werewolves. The list goes on and on.

In fact, I hate them so much that I have beaten Castlevania numerous times in a fit of rage. Yes, I hate vampires....well, except for one. Count Orlok, Nosferatu. He just looks....weird.

To deal with that twilight "movie" opening this weekend I have decided to provide balance to the empty husks presented on the silver screen with my own take on the genre. Nosferatu definitely was an influence. I'll highlight each one below randomly this weekend. I present to you: Socially Awkward Vampires.