Friday, August 6, 2010

Deceptive Transcriber

I'm on a diet (somewhat). Since injuring my knee I've been watching my calorie intake to offset my inactivity. Enjoying the finer things in life like Chips Ahoy! and Twix bars is a luxury at best. The other day while at work I decided to go the vending machine to find something to munch on.

I marveled at the choices. "Twix? No, that has 150 caloriesish! Man, Twix bars are the best! Sigh." I said aloud to myself and to the ants on the ground hidden in the grass. People in the vicinity hurriedly walked away.

Then, through the machine glass I saw it:

"100 calories in this bag of goodness? Awesome! What a wonderful find!" I said as I purchased the treasure, walking away happily through the grass. I started munching with glee and pride. "What a wonderful, healthy find!" I said with a mouthful. Then I turned the package around and saw this:

Servings per container....2? That means 200 calories!? I'm holding a tiny bag of crackers and somehow this is two servings!?? Two servings for who? Pesky skinny elves who live in a haunted magical forest? I could've had my Twix!!! It would've been much healthier.

"Who could have done this?" I cried with tears welling in my eyes. Then the realization kicked in. "CURSE YOU DECEPTIVE TRANSRIBER!" as I shook my fist to the heavens.

The Deceptive Transcriber wanders the land writing deceptive formulas on innocent corporate packaging. He is obsessed with being the skinniest transcriber on earth and will stop at nothing to keep it that way. I must be vigilant.


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